One cold spring morning, as the cool breeze and mist caressed my face, I had planned my day as usual. When I came across the fact that I had no one to count on, humanly speaking, no one to tell them what was happening to me at that moment, or what I was thinking. No one who could listen to me and give me a word of wisdom, no one who cared. Although I did know many people, and could call some of them “friends”, at that moment I could not think of a single person who could understand the sea of emotions in which I was rowing, without a compass, without a map, without a clear explanation. What had caused me to come to such a conclusion?
Bad news. Minutes before, a relative wrote me a message and sent me an audio saying that one of my family members was in a critical situation, had accidentally been poisoned, had the appeared to be having a stroke, and there was not much they could do, or -wanted to do-that was my impression.
I wondered if my family member was going to die, I imagined how sad it would be to come home and not see them again, how would the other family members feel? What would complicated relatives I had not seen in a long time, say to me? I was seeing myself in their midst as if I were from another planet. My mind worked without rest, my breathing was inconstant and accelerated, my heart was beating fast, I could not taste anything.
The whole picture had suddenly changed for me. When suddenly I went to my closet to look for clothes and I couldn’t take it anymore, I sat down as best I could at one end of a step and began to talk to God, I told him about my fears, about the sad situation I was facing, about my impotence, how isolated I felt, and how I couldn’t talk to anyone else who could understand me, and everything that was in my heart. I knew he was listening to me, and suddenly, I began to breathe better, I realized that I was not alone as I had thought and that someone cared about everything related to me.
What I experienced was part of a reality check. We can be very well, get up as usual hoping that everything will be as everyday, but news can confront us with the reality that we can feel terribly alone, even being surrounded by many people, but if we have a relationship with God, no matter how strong the winds blow, he has us in his hands. As for my family member? Thank God she was recovering, and I hope she will live many more years.
“I told you this so that you may find peace in me. In the world you will have to suffer, but be brave! I have overcome the world.”
Jesus. John 16:33 PDT
Amando La Vida 