When someone says they love us, and is not willing to prove what he/she says with facts beyond a reasonable doubt, that love is not true, or it is malnourished. There’s is the example of a mother who sent her minor children between the ages of 10-16 to live in another country, and dares to post on social media that her children do not have everything they need but that she loves them madly. .. There is a friend who says she loves the other friend but is not there when they need her, she lives talking badly about her behind her back, and telling her secrets. There is a husband who lives emotionally and verbally offending his wife, belittling her in front of his family, criticizing everything she does, making her feel like an earthworm and he tells her that he loves her. Seriously? True love is more than just words. The above examples are from real life.
Love is a verb, which requires action and movement. An anorexic love is not genuine love, and has the following characteristics:
1- It is not seen:
It is a love that cannot be visible. Although love is not seen within us, with our actions it becomes visible.
2- It is just empty words without proving anything with facts.
3- It is passive:
It is a love that is not willing to risk anything, for the person who claims to love, or make any sacrifice, or make commitments.
“Better is an open reprimand [of loving correction] Than love that is hidden. Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].”
Proverbs 27:5-6 AMP
4- It is absent:
The person who claims to love with an anorexic love is never there when they need them, that person does not care about anyone’s life other than his/her own.
5- Operates from fear:
Since the person who loves with an anorexic love is focused on himself/herself and not on the person they say they love, anorexic lovers look for their own interests, and are afraid of losing. Afraid of being abandoned, of being hurt, fearful of not getting their way, of being unmasked, to lose something, to take risks, to invest things of value, and to demonstrate with facts what they say they feel.
6- It contradicts:
Although this supposed love is supposedly great, it does many things to prove the opposite, mistreats, offends, criticizes, abandons, betrays, lies, manipulates, cheats, belittles, humiliates, hurts, and can even kill emotionally, spiritually and even physically .
It may kill emotionally:
because it causes the person to stop trusting, to be filled with anxiety and depression, to stop believing in love, to have hurt feelings, and low self esteem for the damage received, to be afraid, and to lose self confidence, and the desire and illusion to love again.
It may kill spiritually:
because it causes the person who is the victim to waver in their principles, leading them to do things of which they are not convinced. It also causes the person to still be offended by his Creator, coming to believe that he is responsible for what happened to him/her losing faith, filled with bitterness, and slowly drying up inside.
It may kill someone physically:
Sadly many people have died violently at the hands of a partner or person who claimed to love them. In addition, the damage caused by people who say they feel a love that is anorexic affects mentally, emotionally, and even the physical health. Many diseases are caused by the stress of having a violent, and toxic relationship, for example Cancer, diabetes, migraines, stomach ulcers , thyroid problems, nervous issues, among many others.
When I discovered that God loved me like no one else in this world, something happened inside of me that caused me to see the colors of life, and to start loving myself so that I could then love others in a healthy way. I realized that when I say that I love someone I will be challenged to prove it, and now I am very careful and try as much as possible to say “I love you” only if I am really willing to accept the challenge of true love.
“Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 AMP