Today is a beautiful ❄️ snowy day. I was planning on chilling all day, but I remembered that I have to write about this story that might save someone’s life, finances, and sanity. It was very difficult for me to find the correct name but I hope that somehow it would serve someone to protect themselves from people who are trying to use them, and pushing them to trespass their limits.The followings are my own definitions, along with the dictionary descriptions, since I did not find the perfect word that corresponds to the person I will describe below.
Creep, or Unhinged: a person who, although perhaps not diagnosed by a doctor that something is not right in his/her head, by his attitudes, actions and ways of speaking at first glance shows that it is not right.
Hobo sexual or House climber: a person who approaches another one with the intention of obtaining a place to live, using as a pretext an alleged sexual attraction, sudden, obsessive and irrational infatuation, which he/she uses in order to enter the person’s life, and move in to his/her house without asking their permission, like a parachute, with everything very well orchestrated without the victim suspecting that it is just one more house that is going to be used for this individual to avoid paying rent, and skipping responsibilities.
The hobo sexual creep has no intention of anything other than using his/her victim, sometimes pretending to be the “poor little thing” who has not had luck, who has suffered a lot, who is lonely, trying to create a need for someone to save him/her and help him/her, but it is only a drama, this person is not interested in changing. They’re only using everyone they can.
Taken from a true story.
Jeffrey was a seemingly normal child, he was the youngest of 7 siblings his mother had from different fathers. His father had abandoned him at an early age. In his teenage years, he was not very social, he had the appearance and actions of a foolish person, shy, disconnected, lacking discipline, mysterious and silent. Although sometimes he would talked with people around him. At the age of 13 his mother died of a terrible illness, one of his older brothers took him to another country to change his life and forget his sorrows. Jeffrey’s interactions with girls were not normal, despite of feeling attraction towards them, he did not show it, nor did he dare to ask girls out, or to move forward when girls invited him to hang out. He used to be a Christian but he was a backslider, pointing the finger at every believer saying that “he knew” everything and that he was fine like he was. Really, Jeffrey?
Jeffrey’s self-esteem was very low, he felt that he was not good enough for people to accept him, that perhaps if he had some money and prestige he would be accepted. He had more than one opportunity to start a relationship with a girl he liked, but since he did not express any interest, his crush ended up marrying someone else. He became a young adult, once in a while he had casual sexual encounters with strangers for money and other things. Jeffrey’s fear of commitment, his feeling of being inadequate, his many insecurities and his addiction to masturbation, were making him feel comfortable with just working and accumulating money, without entering a committed relationship, or starting a family. Jeffrey had several real properties and money saved, still he felt very empty, lonely, purposeless. One day he had the brilliant idea -according to him-, to start climbing houses, after talking with some of his few bad friends, he wanted to start living for free, without paying rent, without having to pay expenses, without commitments, looking for roommates playing that he had a crush on them. He observed his victims very well, he chose those who lived alone and had jobs, so he would have a free load.
The trap he set for lonely women was to start flattering, then followed with meaningless conversations, on any isolated topic, about how he got aroused when he looked at women with wide hips, trying to act like he trusted his female friends having conversations that would have no end, like a total creep. No matter how much his female friends tried to stop him from talking , he talked then he continued to ad more topics to gain space and trust, using flattering phrases. Then he would say, that he felt that he was falling madly in love with them, and so on. Him being a talker was only one layer of the real problem, his objective was to gain ground to move into the houses of one woman, and then another, temporarily and without giving signs of his true intentions.
When Elina met Jeffrey she did not realize what was happening, she had been a widow not long before, and meeting this hobo sexual creep disguised as a lonely, kind, helpful, and thoughtful man seemed like a glass of water to someone who just comes out of the desert. Elina was an intelligent woman, celibate, genuine Christian, interesting, and pleasant, but lonely, with few friends, and living in a distant state, far from relatives and acquaintances. Jeffrey had researched Elina’s life very well before approaching her, he had bribed several Elina’s neighbors to get information from them. He was posing as her friend, and then he was setting her up to move into her house. And she was clueless.
You may wonder, if Jeffrey had real properties and money, why does he need to take advantage of women? That is the interesting thing about the matter, taking about his assets was only a strategy to look interesting, harmless, and attractive to women. Knowing that he inadvertently was using people was fueling his egotism. This made Jeffrey feel a little powerful, after earning his victim’s trust, he would say that he had a relative living in his house, who was mistreating him, and he owed them favors, so he couldn’t ask them to leave. He would say that he was renting or selling the other properties, and that he didn’t have where to go for that night. Then he would ask his female friends if they would allowed him to be a temporary roommate. On the set time he already had a suitcase 🧳 or backpack 🎒 ready and everything to move in. Since Jeffrey had already done various favors for his victims, they felt committed and compelled to let him stay, without prior notice, and without prior planning . That’s what he did to Elina, he appeared one night without his car as if he had nowhere to go. He said that a relative dropped him off and he didn’t have the house keys. Now you May wonder …
How did Elina survived this hobo sexual creep attack?
1- Elina told Jeffrey that she preferred to pay him a hotel for the night, that she was calling a taxi cab. That she would not allow him or anyone to spend the night, because that was not her style. She would only spend the night with the man she would marry. Jeffrey acted angry, got offended and walked away in the cold winter, and …she let him go.
2- From that day on, Elina established new rules: it was not allowed for Jeffrey or anyone else to visit her house. Elina and Jeffrey could hang out in public places only, without going to her house, or any private places.
3- Due to unstoppable persistence from Jeffrey’s pursuit, he even lied to her saying that he returned to church again…Eventually, Elina blocked him in all forms of communication and asked him not to ever come by her house again. Elina told Jeffrey that her family was aware of his actions, and that what he was doing was harassment and that is punishable by law and that she was not going to allow this to continue happening.
4- After rampant persistence from Jeffrey Elina had to tell him that she was going to start a relationship with someone else, and she was not interested in speaking with him again.
5- As Elina maintained her posture, and did not give in to Jeffrey’s dramas, and manipulation, he finally gave up, and looked for another victim’s house to stay and apparently he found it because Elina never heard back from him again.
In order for us to avoid these types of people we have to remain firm in our decisions, keeping specific limits. We cannot allow anyone to enter the living room of our house, that’s the purpose for parks, restaurants, museums, and other public places. Let’s take care of ourselves, and let’s protect our privacy, a person with good intentions will rarely ask us to invite them into our houses. Choosing to invite someone home most happen naturally, but someone’s insistence is a sign that something is wrong, and that they may want to manipulate us and cross our boundaries. Let’s be alert, and stay away from the creeps, house climbers.
“But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them.”
2 Timothy 3:1-5 AMP