How did I get out of the most toxic relationship of my life?

This is my ex

A compulsive liar. He did all he could to destroy my self esteem. Oh how he tried to break my life into pieces! He was satisfied by seeing me afraid, sweating, yelling, running, shaking and aching every time he would hurt me. My suffering was like fuel to his pride. He used to torment me about the idea of what could happen if… but most of the things he warned me of never came to pass. He made me doubt of everything, anything, and everyone. He even made me doubt of my self worth, my identity, and my own soundness of mind. My ex did his best to remind me of my past, specially about terrifying moments. He hated everything that made me happy. He disliked to hear me laugh. Any time I would say something good or I was planning to start a new project, or met someone new. My monster ex would give me several reasons why I shouldn’t do it. He would used any example of my past failures or, similar circumstances. And even could use the subject of another person’s mistakes in order  to get me isolated from everyone. He wanted me only for himself. He caused me severe headaches and emotional traumas with his cruel words and actions. This wicked person made me feel trapped, and helpless and he seemed to enjoy it.

At some point, I thought that I was never going to be able to get away from him. Because I knew him since I was little. And I had failed many attempts to take him out of my life. Since I remember he had always been controlling, jealous, unpredictable, and demanding of attention. He wanted to be the center of all I did at any cost. Even if that were have meant that I was going to be hurt or ignored.
One day,  I began to realize that this relationship was too abusive and I wanted to get out of it. But that’s when my wicked ex really got violent. His physical and mental attacks went from occasionally to daily. His insults and mockery were tormenting and breathtaking. I couldn’t defend myself, even when I tried he always won. Until one day while he was attacking me violently and a stronger man who I barely knew was passing by and came to my rescue. This stronger man hit my ex up so bad that he cried like a child. The person I knew to be so mighty and who had overpowered me so many times, was in front of me defeated by someone stronger. A hero I didn’t know well but despite of that, he was there showing me more care and compassion  than anyone had ever expressed in my entire life. My sick ex used to act like a very macho man in front of me. But, now  he was at the floor as a crying baby. That was shocking to me, it’s like I found his weak point, his antivirus, and his days with me were counting down. 

After this event, it came to my knowledge that this man (the stronger one) who I didn’t know that well, was approachable and I began to communicate with him. This conversations with my now new friend cheered me up, gave me the confidence, and the courage that I needed to leave my ex. The exit wasn’t an easy one. Trust me, my ex threw me all that he ‘ve got. His hate, his dictator attitude, and his constant threats just increased. I called this other guy, “the stronger one” and he came to help me get out of the house where I lived for so many years.  This same place which had turned into a prison to me.  The battle was real, between the two. Trust me when I say that I were have preferred to be watching this scene on a movie theater. But, I had to watch the show live, in person. Of course the stronger man won the fight, and I was free to leave. For the very first time I felt like I could breath pure air. Thought the atmosphere was charged with the humidity and heat of that summer night, plus my many insecurities, and my mix emotions while leaving someone who was harmful to me. But at the same time he was so familiar that I didn’t know where to start again, after this toxic relationship finally was over.
Days passed by and I didn’t miss my ex, neither saw him. I felt so brave! But, of course he didn’t give up so easily. He continued sending me messages, emails and letters, until I learned that I could block him, so I did. From that day on I keep him blocked in each one of my electronics. I took time to study and learn the laws of my country and my legal rights. I reported my ex to the right courts and he got prosecuted. Now there is a restraining order against him, so he better stay away from me.

My inner healing has been a long process, to overcome all those bad memories and the effects of the many years of torment. But I am on my way of total recovery one day at a time. As for the stronger man… I know you are curious!

Him and I are in a serious relationship. Well, did I mention my ex’s name? 

It was fear. He was just a spirit, but Jesus Christ kicked him out of my life and my dreams. Jesus is the “stronger man”.

“But if I drive out the demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has already come upon you. When the strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his belongings are undisturbed and secure. But when someone stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he robs him of all his armor on which he had relied and divides his [goods as] spoil.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:20-22‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with great power; and He went around doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, because God was with Him.”

‭‭Acts‬ ‭10:38‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s