A Painful Silence

Below, the testimony of a very dear young woman, for privacy reasons, we changed her name.

Cinthia, was a very normal 7-year-old girl. It seemed that everything was going well with her. That would have been thought by anyone with the naked eye, everyone except Cinthia. What nobody knew was what was happening in this baby’s life. An aunt who was taking care of her had been sexually abusing her, making her rub her tiny body indecently against the wall, asking her to take off her clothes, then looking at her little body and touching her. This woman who was actually Cinthia’s’ mother’s aunt, would say obscene words to her, and asked her to repeat them, among other horrible things. Yes, as you read it, her own relative was hurting her. But that’s not all, a security guard who was working at the apartment complex where the aunt lived, was also taking advantage of the little girl, kissing her on the mouth, and inciting her to do other unpleasant and inappropriate things. Cinthia, did not know what to do, the worst thing is that she could not speak to anyone, her mother was wondering around living her own life, and had abandoned Cinthia to the fate of that great-aunt. Cinthia’s father did not care if the girl lived or died.

How could this little girl smile, if the person who was supposed to take care of her was sexually abusing her? Being so small that she did not even understand what was happening, and the most outrageous thing was that she could not defend herself.
What boy or girl can be happy after their parents abandon them? You may not understand what is happening, you may not record it in order, or may not have the ability to discern everything yet, but your brain is storing information that one day it will be used against you. Those memories will come in the adolescent stage, or in adulthood, like ocean waves, to remind you of how lonely you felt, and that you were not loved.  These thoughts will trigger when you least expect it. But those same memories will help you find the root of the emotional issues that you will have to deal with for a long time, but with the right help, they can heal little by little, until they become wounds that no longer hurt.

Cinthia grew very confused. During her teenage years, she did not know if she was attracted to women or men. She was also very embarrassed by the things that had happened in her childhood, and she had a lot of anger and animosity against her parents, her aunt, the security guard, and all the people who harmed her in some way. Cinthia had become a bitter person, distrustful, and isolated from everyone. She spent many hours on social media showing photos of her body with little clothing, or smoking, or drinking, or doing crazy things. She would do anything for a “like”. She dated strange boys, and did many youthful follies, trying to fill her great emptiness and loneliness. One day she met a young woman who told her about God’s love through Jesus Christ and his forgiveness for our sins, and that we should forgive those who hurt us in order to be healed. Cinthia opened her heart and began to talk about what had happened in her childhood. For the very first time she experienced a peace she had never had, and began a new walk with God. She decided to forgive, then began receiving psychological help, and much support from other believers and pastors of the church she was attending. Today, she leads a group of young people in her congregation and studies psychology, because she wants to help people who, like her, were abused.

She experienced the pain of silence in different ways, and discovered that the good thing about having such a traumatic childhood is that she has already grown up, and now no one can abuse her.  She is no longer the helpless and abandoned girl who could not take care of herself. Today, she advocates in behalf of abused children and young people, and motivates them not to remain silent, to talk to their school teachers, or a friend, or a neighbor, tell someone. What they have done to you it’s not your fault. Abuse in all its forms can affect us physically, relationally, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and may even cause confusion in our identity. Keeping silence makes the wounds hurt even more. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, and he can heal those wounds that have been covered by secrecy, if you believe in him.

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭147:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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